Strength beyond my own

This has been the busiest week, academically, that I can remember. I had so many exams, papers, and projects due during the last five days. I had Relief Society responsibilities, intramural tournament games, firesides, additional classes, and...Preference Week.
I would like to think that I am a machine that just runs on a schedule and produces great results, but the truth of the matter is that I am a 20 year old young lady that typically enjoys taking a nap here and there, likes to eat fry sauce for fun, and that is trying to do my best. Some events happened this week that factored in feelings and emotions, proving that I am, indeed, human.

Tuesday evening, I uploaded my missionary photo for my online application. I sat on the couch in our living room and just stared at the screen. At the bottom of the page, I had to option to SUBMIT my online application. I took in the moment. It was one of those moments that I know I will always remember. I made the dramatic click of the mouse that sent my online application on to the bishop. I seriously sat there for about ten minutes after I squealed a nervous, anxious, and completely excited sound. WOW. I could feel that spine tingling feeling of the Holy Ghost.

The next two days were two of THE. MOST. DIFFICULT. days of my entire life. I was on an extremely tight schedule starting at 8:00 am and ending at 11:30 pm. Thursday was particularly difficult. I was academically stressed, but there were others things going on, as well. A man added the cherry on my stress cake during our lunch date, and I tried to ignore the frustration inside of myself. I finished studying for one test in the library and decided it was high time to call my mother because I needed to de-stress.
However, I stopped in my tracks. I realized that I should be just as quick to call on my Heavenly Father as I am of my mother. I plopped all of my stuff on the floor in between the shelves of books in an empty part of the library. I fell to my knees and poured my heart out to Heavenly Father. I felt that comfort of the Spirit come over me. I learned an important lesson. I can't make it through life on my own. I am weak without Heavenly Father. I need Him in my life everyday. I need strength beyond my own.

I was able to complete everything by my 5:00 deadlines, and run home to change for my football game. I made it through the hard part, then was able to enjoy life again. My football team won, my thoughtful roommates had places a pile of fry sauce containers on my pillow (which totally made my day), and then I went on a really fun date.

I did end up talking with my mom on the phone and she pointed out what was not obvious to me. I couldn't figure out why this week was so dang hard! She simply explained that I had just completed my mission papers, so Satan must be raging in his devilish hell, wherever that may be.

Hmm..my wise mother is wise.
Brother Bott taught me that you have to face Satan head on and realize what he's doing. For every trial, there will be equal or greater blessings and joy. Likewise, for every blessing, there will be an equivalent trial. I know that my mission is going to be incredible and better than I can imagine. So, I should expect to be attacked by Satan.
I feel as though I have been soaring the last 7 months. My testimony has grown significantly and I have been cruising through everything. I went to Israel and literally walked in places that Christ walked. I served as the Girls Camp Director and learned what it means to truly love young women. I was called to serve as the Relief Society President in my BYU ward and I'm beginning to see what the Lord has in store for me. I am now just months away from my mission.
I must face opposition. Where is the growth if there is no challenge? Well, I will be completely honest. Thus far, I have been in a down right battle with Satan. As the time for me to leave on my mission approaches, the battle becomes more and more intense. It has taught me how real Satan is and how much he wants to destroy us.
HOWEVER.
I have been preparing myself to be an instrument in the hands of God since the pre-mortal life. I am in a very humble state and I'm ready to do anything He asks of me. I also know that Heavenly Father's plan will prevail and that He will give me the strength to do ANYTHING that He will ask of me. I will find strength beyond my own.
I'm going to make it.

The time is near....

24 days

In just TWENTY-FOUR days I can legally submit my mission papers.

The church guidelines allow sister missionaries to submit their papers 120 days (4 months) before their availability date. I turn 21 on March 18th and cannot believe that the time has come. I have been waiting for a long, long time to serve this mission.

Seven years ago, my mom and I started the countdown.

However, I have really been waiting even longer.

Jesus Christ entrusted me with sacred responsibilities and one of those was to serve a full time mission. I chose that before coming to Earth and I am so excited to fulfill that promise that I made. I KNOW Heavenly Father is preparing people right now for me to find when I arrive and He has been for some time now.

I am extremely nervous. At the same time, I am so incredibly excited.

I have been making the finalizing preparations before I leave.

I have put MUCH thought and consideration into these plans and have been thinking about them for quite some time. Those plans involve me completing this Fall semester at BYU, then moving back home to Idaho with my family for a few months until my birthday. That means I would have to sell my housing contract and request deferment from school until I return in the fall of 2013. That means choosing a mission over marriage for now.

Logic would say that I should attend another semester of school, since I can't leave until March anyway, and the winter semester ends in April. Plus, no one knows when they'll be called to leave. I could be called in May or June and "waste" that time that I could have been in school. I have spoken with academic advisers about deferments, and they have all counseled me to register for and attend the winter semester. Despite my explanation and plans, their main point always goes back to, "You never know when you'll be called to leave. What happens if you don't leave until June?" The Riv would say that it is incredibly difficult to sell a contract mid semester or school year. Friends would say that I am crazy to go on a mission, and NOT get married.

Nevertheless, Heavenly Father has a miraculous hand in our lives if we will just allow ourselves to see that. I know that my husband will be around when I get back (and he better be ready to get married). I have already sold my contract to a young lady coming from Brazil to learn English. The Riviera has secured everything and a miracle took place.

It is very true, that I COULD be called in May or June. However, I KNOW that I will be called as soon as I have my birthday. Heavenly Father has given me the revelation and guidance that I need to fulfill His plan.

So I am taking huge leaps of faith. Faith in the Plan. Faith in the Priesthood, and the revelation that comes through it. Faith in the revelation that I have received through the Holy Ghost. Faith that Heavenly Father knows better than I.

This semester of school has been the best yet. I absolutely LOVE my roommates. I LOVE the members of my ward and the Bishopric. I LOVE my calling as Relief Society President and the women that I work with. I LOVE all of my classes, my intramural flag football team, and everything about this semester.

I see two ways to look at it:

1. Why would Heavenly Father ask me leave on a mission when everything here is so perfect?

2. Heavenly Father loves me so much and has given me a perfect ending to the final chapter before my mission.

I know the second way to be true. He is also giving me the opportunity to spend time at home with my family before I leave on my mission. When I come back everything will change drastically, and I won't be able to come home much after I'm married.

"Faith and fear cannot reside in the same heart."

Here is to the faith that I have chosen to exercise in Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. I will not fear, but embrace the exciting responsibilities and blessings that lie before me and trust the plan.

I will complete my interviews with the bishop and stake president during Thanksgiving and submit my papers the first week of December. I hope to get my call before my family and I leave for our Christmas vacation to Disneyland a few weeks later.

And I trust that I will be called to leave shortly after my birthday.

Every time I talk about my mission or look at my mission papers, I get a burst of excitement and love.

I am really going.

The time is near.

Steady and sure

Heavenly Father blessed me with incredible parents. Both have their strengths that they add to our family and they are miraculous strengths. My dad has a talent that is rare to the world and very special to me. He has always honored the Priesthood and been able to give me a Priesthood blessing whenever I needed one. But he never gives a general or broad blessing. They have always been very specific, detailed, and exactly what Heavenly Father wanted me to know.
All of my siblings and I received a blessing for the new school year and each was spectacular. My dad receives revelation for each like he is giving a Patriarchal Blessing. My blessing this time especially got me fired up for my mission.
For quite some time, I have been thinking about the timing of everything. When should I submit my papers? When should I put my availability date...on my birthday in the middle of March or after one more semester at BYU? When will I get my call? After much deliberation, I was thinking that I would submit my papers during Thanksgiving break when I come home, then have my call around Christmas time...hoping that I would be called close to my birthday. For all I knew, I could be called in July and have to consider going to the winter semester. I was hoping that I would be able to find a way to make some money during the few months that I was home.
So when my dad starts speaking by the Spirit, he lets me know that my plans will follow through. I will be able to find a temporary job during the few winter months that I am home and I will be able to go on my mission as soon as I have my birthday. He went on to tell me that there are missionaries wasting time and being disobedient. When I get there, I will be able to take their investigators and convert them to the Gospel. They will be ripe and ready. I will absolutely LOVE my mission.
Until that blessed time when I am set apart, I must be steady and sure, remain faithful, and protect myself from Satan. I have to keep the eternal perspective. When I think about a mission, my heart pounds deep inside of me and the Spirit fills my soul with excitement and joy. I am so excited for the opportunity that lies ahead of me!!!!

Starting my mission papers...

I have officially started working on my mission papers!!!! My heart pounds a little harder when I think about them. It is such an exciting time, and a point that I have been waiting to reach. When I was 14, my mother and I were talking about how far off my mission was and we decided that it would be our joke to call the time until I turn 21, the "seven years of famine". Life up to this point has been absolutely wonderful and I have lived life to its fullest. Now I am moving forward into a time that I dedicate my life 24/7 to serving the Lord. I am going to serve a full time mission and do what I was fore-ordained to.
I knew that there would be troubles along the way and that Satan would try to stop me, but today I experiences something quite humorous. I was ready to scan and upload my passport and drivers license to the online recommendation system. My drivers license has been hidden in the same location ALL SUMMER LONG, but suddenly, was no where to be found. I chuckled to myself, "Oh boy, you have got to be kidding me!" I dug through all of my bags and every place I thought it might be hiding. It magically disappeared, right when I needed it for my mission papers. I know I will find it eventually, with a lot of prayer.
Something else that I found interesting... My mom had put a new ink cartridge into our printer not too long ago. Recently enough that there should be plenty of ink to print off my medical and dental forms. However, I tried to print them off, and suddenly there was no ink. I can see that Satan is going to try everything he can to stop me from serving. If it is the Lord's will, anything is possible. I know that I am supposed to serve a mission, and somehow, I will be able to submit my papers and get to the mission field. And serve with all of my heart, might, mind and strength.